no time for illustrations today, so if you came for a pretty picture, this ain’t the spot for you.
i almost typed “this morning,” b/c it can’t be 1:30 already. i haven’t showered. i haven’t eaten, and we have had zero fun as of this moment.
i awoke to a pool party happening in my two year old’s bedroom. she doesn’t have a pool. she doesn’t sleep in a bathroom. there is no retractable ceiling. yet, it “rained” over her crib this morning.
there they were, ava and isla, soaking wet, hair ‘n all. smell of poop lingering profusely in the air. not a thing within a half of a foot’s radius from her bed was dry. ava made it rain. isla’s *clean* pull up sat abandoned on the floor, and she had decided to poop in her pants. before the rain shower, during, after, i don’t know. don’t care. all i know is that my kids were soaked, the bed was soaked, her toys and books in and next to the bed were soaked, and she had soggy, wet, poopy-filled pants on. oh joy. ring the bells. happy monday morning, mom!
why can’t i strap them in their beds until 8AM? that would be wrong; i know. i promise i won’t, but seriously. why on God’s precious, green earth, can’t my three year old refrain from water play at 7 in the morning while i’m half-dead to the world?
ok, just took a breath. i’m holding my breath i noticed while i type this, b/c i’m speed-typing. they’re terrorizing this place today.
isla’s peed on the potty twice. whoop whoop! no. no, whooping. she also peed in the foyer, the laundry room, and the kitchen. thankfully, all three are hard floors, but seriously? not only did i scrub her bed down, her butt down…not only did i have to give two stinkers a bath at 7:30 this morning while a baby screamed for her breakfast (me), but i washed a foyer floor, a powder room floor, and a kitchen floor…all before lunch.
after scrubbing the kitchen floor, i walked into the living room, only to discover that isla had removed her clothes and poured her and Ava’s *dry* bowls of cereal (thank you, God) on the living room floor. so now i just vacuumed in there, and i’m venting before the next disaster happens.
please tell me that you had to suffer with me this morning. is that cruel for me to be hoping that you had a mess or two or six too? yes. but how else am i to cope? misery loves company, right? and if you had a miserable morning too, boy, do you love me right now!
and if you are at the park, or swimming, or shopping, or something fun…
don’t tell me.
going to eat, dress my naked child and put them down for naps. well, after i make isla’s bed anyway.
there. there’s a cute picture of their first swim from the other day when i liked them very much. today, i’m not so sure. don’t judge. i’m lacking oxygen.