Before…You Were His

Sitting there in the heat, watching our kids participate in the closing show at a local VBS, and she turns around.  There’s a new babe on her lap and a husband standing near us in the background.  He’s still in his dress clothes, likely from his long day in an office somewhere.  He’s doing the same thing that my husband is doing day-in and day-out, earning a living to support a family that he loves.  Maybe she stays at home like I do, or maybe they picked up their kids at daycare or grandma’s house and scurried to make it to a VBS with a 6PM start, because investing in their little one’s faith and friendships is worth the evening hustle.  She gives him a simple glance and a nod.  He seems to know it well, because without hesitation, he quickly grabs what she needs from the stroller and walks it to her.  She turns back around, tending to her infant, and he returns to his spot in the back.  Although she’s in the midst of mothering, I catch a glimpse of her youth and beauty, and it hits me.

Before…she was his.

Before the diapers and the late night feedings…

Before the stretch marks and tired legs…

Before the sippy cup laden cupboards and Cheerio covered floors…

Before the car seats and strollers and bibs and pacifiers…

Before living in sweats and smelling like spit-up…

She was his.

Date nights and perfume…

Long hugs and real kisses…

Dancing and movies…

Fancy resturants and long phone calls…

Weekend getaways and inside jokes…

Before these babes.  Before she was Mommy, she was simply his.

And I glanced at my own mister, standing in the background, relaxing his weight against a swing while our toddler ran amuk nearby, and I couldn’t help but remember being just his too once.  It made me smile one of those joyful smiles that you really have no control over.  The kind that just happen, because you are that happy in the moment.

I spend my days being Mommy.  I live and breathe motherhood.  There’s no escaping it, especially if you long to do it well.  I wouldn’t trade my days, hours, minutes, moments of mothering for anything else in the world.  I embrace being completely wrapped up in it, but I forgot in the process how to be his too.

I forgot what it was like to put him first, to be just me, a girl in love with the best kind of man.  I forgot that he’s the reason that this whole thing evolved into a beautiful family in the first place.  My love for him and his for me…

And all that thinking in those brief moments brought that silly, giddy smile to my face…

And I made up my mind to be his again.  

his

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

    • kloverhouse says

      Great question, Alisha! I’m working on that post next, because, guess what, you aren’t the first person to ask! It IS hard! I’m starting out with simply being more intentional. I am guilty of wearing the Mom hat above all others. Now, under my “Child of God” hat, I am “His girl” then Mommy. I’m just trying to let my kids see me being his girl more. Hugs before sitting down for dinner. A quick back rub while we’re eating breakfast (his love language is touch), saying I love him more, holding back when I really, really, really want to nag or complain to, at or about him. I’ve told him he looked handsome twice already today. I’m letting myself replay our younger days (in my mind) to remind myself of old feelings and fun times… I think when I became a mom, I started viewing us as parents, but I forgot to think of us as a couple first. I don’t know if that makes sense, but basically, I’m trying to be intentional and show our kids and him just how important he is to me. If you try some things and they are working for you, please share! xo

  1. says

    *sigh*

    Couldn’t have put it better.

    I often forget to spend some quality time with my husband. As soon as my son is asleep, I’m sure the hubby thinks it’s finally his time with me, but for me, it’s usually finally time to close my eyes and pass out. And I know it’s not fair. I need to put more of an effort. Because he never complains. And it makes me feel guilty, but it also reminds me of why I married him. That’s the kind of man he is. I really needed this. I’m glad I’m not alone.

    Thanks…

    • kloverhouse says

      Yes! You are definitely NOT alone! This is one of the reasons why I love taking a leap and exposing my heart. It never fails…it brings other women out of the woodwork, reassuring me too, “You’re not alone!” I think that is so comforting and encouraging! It sounds like you have a wonderful man! That makes all the difference when you are spending a life together and raising a family!

  2. Emilie says

    I also am blessed to be married to that kind of awesome man he still treats me like a princess even while I nurse our 4th baby in my sweat pants. … I’m very thankful that I came across your writings it is good to be reminded that he is more than worth the extra effort thanks

    • kloverhouse says

      Thank you, Emilie! Your words mean so much to me! I’m so glad that you have such an amazing spouse! And you have 4 babies too…God bless you, Mama! 🙂 These guys of ours are definitely worth the effort! I want to cultivate a loving and LASTING relationship that spans all time and circumstance, so being his girl just as much now as I was 14 years ago is seeming more and more important. xo

  3. Tamara says

    Just found your site! This is a beautiful, stirring post! Thank you! It speaks even to an empty nester! Also, I really like the Big Mama post. It is true we often do not see ourselves the way our little ones do/did. I was overweight following my second’s birth. It was MANY years before any of my kids saw me as heavy, or incapacitated in any way. For some strange reason they thought I was agile, slender and athletic; they also firmly believed I was psychic! 😀 So 99% of the time they told me straight out what they had done or what they were involved in ’cause they figured I knew anyway! Ha! I look forward to following your blog!

    • kloverhouse says

      I am HONORED to have people, like you, looking forward to my posts. Makes all of the vulnerability worth it. xo

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