Choose Joy

All day every day, we’re making choices about how to feel, and how to convey those emotions in a healthy way to our family…our friends…our co-workers…strangers at the grocery store…  Is it just me, or is it so hard some days to choose joy?

 

I have so many things that I want to write about – I’m living all ‘Young House Love‘ up in here…and I’m hoarding so many pictures of food on our camera, that I’m constantly seeing the message, ‘memory card full’…BUT this topic is heavy on my heart tonight and takes precedence over tasty meals and home projects.

 

Sometimes, I realize though, it’s not just about choosing.
I owe them. 
Who?
My kids.
I owe them JOY.
I realized the other night while gazing at their sweet faces, that I am dealing them a side dish of misery with every day lately.  I serve them up a hearty dose of resentment, discontentment, frustration.  It’s not right, and it’s not fair.
It has nothing to do with them either!
My girls don’t know that my scowl is because I can’t get the mini blind to stay up or the toilet to flush…they don’t ‘get’ that I’m groaning because BOTH the washer and dryer are broken and I threw away a moldy shirt for the 3rd time in two weeks…  They can’t translate heavy eyelids and sarcasm into exhaustion.  They just see an unhappy mommy.
They don’t deserve that.  No matter what.
They absorb everything.  They see what’s literally there in front of them.  They see smiles or frowns.  They hear groans or laughter.  They watch me pace and wring my hands or lift them in joyful praise…
These days are forming their perspectives.  Like a river that carves stone over the course of hundreds of years…my  outpouring of whatever emotions are carving a lasting impression on the hearts and minds of my children.
Who is Mommy?
I’m not proud of who I’ve been in front of my kids some days.  Most days.
Who is Mommy?
I want them to say, ‘She is JOY.’
I, like you, only get one go at this.  They are only little once.  They only get one childhood, and while I’m not arguing that we can’t have our bad days or our moments…I’m proposing that we make a serious effort to show them joy.
Car breaks down…
In a rut with your spouse…
Bad day at work…
Serious case of road-rage…
Woke up on the wrong side of the bed…
Screwed up dinner…
Opened an unfriendly e-mail…
Found out someone you love has cancer…
Insert your heartbreak or frustration here…
I have a choice in every moment – unnecessary transparency or intentional joy.
Let’s choose JOY.
I opened up facebook the very next morning after confessing these thoughts to my husband and saw this post immediately.  I was so blessed by it, and I believe you will be also.  Give your family the GIFT of a happy mommy.  I love that she talks about happiness being cultivated, not faked.  We can do this, and we, and our families, will be so blessed because of it.  Carry on, sweet mama.  Choose JOY today.
They are being tested by many troubles, and they are very poor. But they are also filled with abundant joy, which has overflowed in rich generosity. 2 Corinthians 8:2 (NLT)
Joy

 

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Comments

  1. says

    I found your blog through Your Modern Family's site, and I've enjoyed reading your posts…but this one definitely hit home for me. I have felt the same way often, but especially recently…my oldest just started kindergarten, so we're entering a whole new world of shuffling children, schedules, buses, daycare for the younger one, etc…all, of course, on top of the usual home stuff and daily responsibilities we always have! It's hard sometimes to remember that they truly do absorb everything, the good and the bad…and I despise the fact that some days they probably see more "bad" parts of my day than good. Great post and a great reminder, thanks for sharing! 🙂

    • says

      Thanks for the encouragement, Emmy! And so glad that you found us! I enjoyed visiting your blog tonight also! I look forward to reading more!!! You're right, stress caused by our demanding schedules and responsibilities as wives…mothers…community members…can really drain us. It's work to put our best face forward! It's worth it, though! Thanks for commenting! xo

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