Do you have a ‘middle child’?
I often find myself saying, “I never bought into the whole birth order thing until I became a parent of multiple children, myself.”
How would I parent each of my children if the birth order was given a switcheroo?
What if Ava wasn’t always boxed into being ‘my big girl’, and Isla got to be my ‘baby’ a little longer, and Eden got my undivided attention for a whole 15 minutes, like she was the firstborn? You get where I’m going with this?
“How would my behaviors/conversations/responses be different if she were the first? …the second? …the ‘baby’?”
I constantly poured fervent prayers over Ava as an infant. I was in awe of the miracle of life, the newness of motherhood, the awesome bigness of God’s love for us as His children. I’d sing her little songs the whole way through bath time. I’d patiently walk a whole .0004 mph behind her chubby little legs on the stairs while she was climbing as quickly as she could. There were no ‘hurry ups’.
I savored every moment and milestone just a little bit more intentionally.
Now, that I’m in the throes of the daily grind, prayers can be more routine than should be, baths resemble quick hose-downs some nights. If Isla’s taking a little longer than her sis, I quickly whisk her up the stairs… *sigh*
So, yes – I personally believe that birth order has had an affect on my parenting. You can probably relate to the fact that parenting has to vary in certain ways from child to child simply because no two children are the same anyway and will require an ‘i.p.p’ (individualized parenting plan – haha – teachers will get that joke), but birth order definitely plays a part in the mix as well.
In a nutshell – throw birth order ‘out the window’ for even a moment. Embrace your kids for who they are and who they are ALONE. Perspective really does change everything. How we chose to perceive our kids in the moment could shift the entire day or maybe even your relationship with them in a whole new direction.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you try this experiment out with me and examine how you interact with your children based upon their position in the family, I’d love to hear how it has affected you as a parent. Are you seeing a change in yourself…in your kids? Stop back and fill us in!
On that note… Good night and be blessed!